negativity.

Hate days where I just feel really negative. All these insecurities, all these self-loathing, all these thoughts on inadequacy, all these inferiority complexes, all these negativity. BE GONE. I hate wallowing in self-despair because it makes me feel weak and helpless and I hate feeling weak because it's just so pathetic, but it's normal to feel weak once in a while right?? After all, I'm only human. *cues Christina Perri's song LOL*

Reading past letters and I just miss the old me when I used to not give a damn to what people think about me, when I'm just satisfied with being plain old boring me. Now, I'm just a bundle of mess. I hate disappointing others, I hate saying "NO" to people so much that I'm sacrificing so much of my happiness and then I'll start beating myself up because of my foolish decisions that have made me limit my happiness in order to please others. What will I achieve at the end of the day exactly?? Nothing. I hate being so socially-awkward that I really cringe as I think about how I behave in large groups. Argh WHY AM I FEELING SO NEGATIVE TONIGHT?? IT'S REALLY BAD.

On a lighter note, the amazing spiderman 2 was so good haha I love Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy (I love the real couple Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone too AHHH). Peter Parker is so dorky and adorable ahhh swoons. haha I really laughed like mad in this show hehe and Max is so psycho and yiming says he's clingy HAHA TOTALLY AGREE. "I need you." LOL and the part where he starts talking to himself was so joke and yet scary, because he sounded so mentally unstable. Ok shall not spoil much BUT I HATE THE ENDING SO MUCH BECAUSE SOMEONE DIED. (I didn't mention who). BOO. HATE BAD ENDINGS. At least this movie lifted my spirits for this shitty day.

Good bye. May tomorrow be a better day, a more hopeful day. I need to rediscover myself and bring back the old me, the old Sarah who doesn't give a shit on what people think about her, and just be satisfied with myself. LOL probably going to read this post tomorrow and regret typing it out because it's just so plain pessimistic.