the golden ticket.

Can't help but feeling like I'm missing out on life and other experiences at the age of 21.

I should be out enjoying my college life - should have tried staying on campus for even just one sem to just feel what's the hype is like, should have taken part in more ccas in my lower years just so to try new stuff (I watched wongfu's video on Chris and how he learnt so many skills in his college life because he just kept signing up for random stuff and I think it's cool), should have even tried to join clubs and societies even though they sound super academic, should have went for OCIP when I could to give back to society, should have tried and persisted in applying for exchange programmes even though I was rejected in the first round, should have applied for internships instead of taking up adhoc jobs, should have done SO MANY THINGS but I gave them all up just because I did not have the courage to try out new stuff.

This year, I've been constantly pushing myself to step out of my comfort zone, like joining the camp committee, even joining pottery, just so that I can gain new exposure. I like learning about new stuff but I'm just not ambitious and brave enough.

Now, I'm given the chance though. Today Xuxi and I were talking about winter school. We have been talking about winter school since MONTHS AGO, and halfway through, I honestly didn't feel like going anymore because it's so troublesome, plus I was thinking if I should just take up an internship during the 5-6 weeks of semester break. But then, talking to Xuxi today got me SO EXCITED. Hell, this could be a ticket for the both of us to our freedom. I guess in a way we are both similar, like how our parents restrict us so much in certain stuff, and we just really want to travel and leave Singapore. My initial thoughts on just staying in Singapore vanished after talking to her haha. This could be my last chance ever to go to winter school.

My mum is always asking why must I travel when I'm still so young (LOL please I know people who travel with friends before 18) and when I'm still in school. And I think this is an experience that one will NEVER get to experience anymore once they graduate. When will you ever get the chance to have 5-6 weeks or 3 months of holidays to travel and learn when you enter the workforce?? When will you get to stay in school dormitories overseas with friends?? I won't get the chance if I don't do it now, and I am honestly not letting this opportunity slip from my fingers. I am really hoping that all of these will work out somehow and hopefully, I'll be overseas with XX this december!!

I'm also considering on going for the German immersion programme next year (which means I have to endure another semester of German) because I really want to get the experience of staying in a host's house and learning about their culture, getting lost in a foreign country with friends, or speaking to the locals there in their native language, going on school trips and SO MUCH MORE ACTIVITIES.

Please let this work out somehow!!

LOL this whole post just turned into a serious ranting of sorts. I guess this is something people who have never been so suppressed by their family members will ever understand.