presence.

I guess we are all stressed and worried for Prague. It's making everybody very angst and restless. I hate repeating the pieces over and over again. I hate being cut half way while we are singing. I hate it when I'm being embarrassed in front of the whole group of juniors. I hate being told of my mistakes. I hate being told that I'm loud. My forte doesn't mean it's the same volume as your forte and my piano doesn't mean it's at the same volume as your piano either. Also, you aren't supposed to hear yourself when you are singing, right?? So how on earth would I know that I'm too loud?? I hate it when people tell me that I'm singing wrongly. Well, but I have to face the truth. All these just have to remind me the fact that I'm lousy and can't sing well as others. I'm in fact one of the worst in my batch I think. How saddening to know the truth. My mum even asked me why am I going to Prague since my presence in choir doesn't make a difference. What an encouragement seriously.

Well, I must say I really have a good sense of self-control. I was THIS CLOSE to breaking down during practices today and especially on Wednesday. Everyone's telling me this and that and making me like I'm the only one making all the mistakes. But I guessed my self-control went haywired today so I SORT OF flared up a bit but I think the people I flared up at didn't know that I was flaring up since my flaring up isn't really that scary HAHAH.

Ok bye. Class outing tomorrow and I have not told my mum anything about it. How sickening it is to ask for permission for minor things even when I'm 17. Oh before I end this post, I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH I HATE DONOVAN. I realised that I spelt his name wrongly in the previous posts LOL not my fault I have never seen him before nor talk to him before so how am I supposed to even know how his name spelt/ My mum, being as smart alec as ever, decided to go treat my uncle clifford (who is donovan's father) to lunch next Sunday before I fly to Prague at night. Severely disliking the family on my father's side, I made up an excuse that I need to rest before I fly so I can't go for the lunch. But being very kaypoh and smart alec as usual, my mum said that the reason they set the date on next Sunday was so that I can join them. WTH she also dislikes that family too so why must she pretend to be civil and go arrange some lame family lunch. TSK. ALL FOR THE REPUTATION'S SAKE.