Friday, December 26, 2014

too nice.

Short update:

Just came back from dance and supposed to be heading back to camp but there is a great level of inertia that is holding me back from packing up and taking a shower and leaving home. I just received news that I have to go and print more stuff for admin comm, which I'm so grateful for this news because it gives me a legitimate reason to go back for camp late haha oops most irresponsible camper ever but who cares!!

Glad to have a short convo with LH on train just now after dance, and I was telling her how uncomfortable I felt in camp because of nice people and she said it's the first time she's hearing this. Like seriously, people there are all too nice, and I feel so uncomfortable there!! Like JJ will keep on apologising to me profusely and she'll keep brooding on her mistakes for days and I've no idea what to do to cheer her up because I keep assuring her that things will be alright but somehow she doesn't believe me HAHA. And everyone's so polite to one another that I feel a little out of place. BECAUSE I'M SUCH A RUDE GIRL HAHA. Why you gotta be so rude, don't you know I'm human too~

I'm most definitely not a very nice person. I think it's normal to have two different sets of personalities - one when you're with your family, and one with your friends. We had a discussion about this topic yesterday, and we all agree with this. But recently, I'm learning to be nicer to my parents. Well I think thing are improving because my mum and I are slowly becoming friends right now.

One of the things which most people point out is that I don't like to share or confide in others. I am pretty much a very private/personal person, and I feel that sharing problems with others is like imposing on them. Yet again, I want my friends to share their problems with me. But everyone should know that I'm the worst person to seek advice from. I'm unable to give solutions. I don't understand their situations due the lack of experience. I guess I'm pretty much living in a sheltered life. I think I lack extremely in empathy. I can't relate with others. Is this very selfish of me?? Am I too self-centred?? Perhaps I am. I guess I am.

I have more things that I want to say but I'm pressed for time because I just realised that it's almost 3pm and I need to be back in camp before dinner time. Bye!!

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