The mum's currently overseas (will be back on Monday) and I must say, I am really enjoying the days without nagging HAHAHA. When mum's home, she always nags at me - "Sarah clean your room, clean your table, sweep the floor, wash the clothes, clean your room AGAIN, do this, do that, wash the car, don't stay out too late, WHY YOU ALWAYS OUT WITH FRIENDS??, HAVE YOU APPLIED FOR JOBS??, WHY NO INTERVIEW??" etc etc etc. It's nice to have some peace and quiet HAHA. Of course I will miss her but damn, I need some break.
Last week was an emotional rollercoaster ride for me. Pretty sure everyone who reads this blog still, will know about what happened. Basically, I went for an interview on Tuesday, and was offered the position the next day. This role was referred to me by my cousin, and my mum had been pestering me to apply for it even when I was in JAPAN. I kept pushing it off because I was oveseas for almost a month, and it didn't make sense to apply for any jobs since I won't be able to pick up the phone. Also, I was hesitant to even apply because it wasn't my interest. But after a series of daily constant badgering by my mum, I caved in and applied for it. I didn't see no harm in applying for it. But yes, I was offered the job the next day, and I was stuck in this situation because they only gave me 1.5 days to consider for the role.
The family was ecstatic. They thought it was good that I got a chance to work in an established financial institution. I on the other hand, wasn't ecstatic. Sure, this means the company perhaps saw a value in me, but it wasn't the job scope I desired. I was also unsure of the job progression prospects. (I had been stalking linkedin for people in the same position, and many of them left around 7-9 months, and those who stayed are those who are older, but I didn't see much of a career progression in their list of jobs. Perhaps it's a millennial concern??) The fam said I should be grateful to even be given this opportunity, and there was no harm accepting and quitting if I don't like it. This is where the problem lies. The fam comes from a generation where they had to just grab whatever job opportunities there are in order to support the family. They didn't understand that it wouldn't reflect well on you to leave a job after a few months in the company. And they don't see the importance of the FIRST JOB. And also, my cousin was the team manager who referred me in, so if I quit, it would reflect poorly on her as well. I gave up explaining my concerns to them because I felt so alone in this. I would be receiving phone calls from various members of the family everyday, till a point that I got sick of them and refused to pick up any more calls. They tried to talk to me one-on-one, telling me 不要弄自己不开心, but they didn't understand what they wanted me to do was making me very very upset. They kept saying they would support me, and yet they would add in, 如果我是你，我一定会accept这个工作. But damn, YOU ARE NOT ME. I told them, 这个工作不是我的兴趣。And they replied，兴趣不可以当饭吃。Wow. That's true, but I don't want myself to feel awful and not looking forward to work. I know nobody will look forward to going to work, but it'll be even more awful if it's something you dislike.
To be honest, on Thursday, I was already going to accept it, because the benefits are super attractive. But I felt super uncomfortable thinking about the job. When I met ahmeng for dinner on Friday and she asked me about it, all of a sudden, I just broke down and cried real badly. LOL imagine a freaking girl crying in the middle of the hawker centre. It was so embarrassing but I couldn't control myself. It's just not something I want and I felt so stressed because nobody in the family understands me and are forcing me to do something I did not want. People were like, why did you even applied for it in the first place?? Because my mum was pestering me everyday and she kept contacting my cousin and I felt pressured to apply for it. How stupid of me. So a word of advice to all my family desperate friends who are hunting for jobs - don't apply for simply anything out of desperation. You don't want to be stuck in the same situation as me.
Of course, I was super tempted to just accept the job because I was so sick of this whole job hunt process, with no replies from firms, and the envy from watching friends getting their dream jobs, and having high salaries. Yet whenever I think of the job scope, I really wanted to puke and run away. This was a warning sign that I should think through carefully before accepting. Friends told me that I should do things at my own pace, and yet, there's this sense of insecurity burning.
So yeah after days of contemplation and consulting loads of people for advice, I decided to reject the job, and restart on my whole job hunt process, and trust me, it's not easy. It's demoralising, but I guess, it will really be worth it if you get something you like. My friend told me - don't settle for less in desperation, and find something that resonates. I really liked it.
Alright here's a short update but pretty sure most of you here already know what had happened since I have already told you all about it. But this post here is a reminder for myself.
Last week was an emotional rollercoaster ride for me. Pretty sure everyone who reads this blog still, will know about what happened. Basically, I went for an interview on Tuesday, and was offered the position the next day. This role was referred to me by my cousin, and my mum had been pestering me to apply for it even when I was in JAPAN. I kept pushing it off because I was oveseas for almost a month, and it didn't make sense to apply for any jobs since I won't be able to pick up the phone. Also, I was hesitant to even apply because it wasn't my interest. But after a series of daily constant badgering by my mum, I caved in and applied for it. I didn't see no harm in applying for it. But yes, I was offered the job the next day, and I was stuck in this situation because they only gave me 1.5 days to consider for the role.
The family was ecstatic. They thought it was good that I got a chance to work in an established financial institution. I on the other hand, wasn't ecstatic. Sure, this means the company perhaps saw a value in me, but it wasn't the job scope I desired. I was also unsure of the job progression prospects. (I had been stalking linkedin for people in the same position, and many of them left around 7-9 months, and those who stayed are those who are older, but I didn't see much of a career progression in their list of jobs. Perhaps it's a millennial concern??) The fam said I should be grateful to even be given this opportunity, and there was no harm accepting and quitting if I don't like it. This is where the problem lies. The fam comes from a generation where they had to just grab whatever job opportunities there are in order to support the family. They didn't understand that it wouldn't reflect well on you to leave a job after a few months in the company. And they don't see the importance of the FIRST JOB. And also, my cousin was the team manager who referred me in, so if I quit, it would reflect poorly on her as well. I gave up explaining my concerns to them because I felt so alone in this. I would be receiving phone calls from various members of the family everyday, till a point that I got sick of them and refused to pick up any more calls. They tried to talk to me one-on-one, telling me 不要弄自己不开心, but they didn't understand what they wanted me to do was making me very very upset. They kept saying they would support me, and yet they would add in, 如果我是你，我一定会accept这个工作. But damn, YOU ARE NOT ME. I told them, 这个工作不是我的兴趣。And they replied，兴趣不可以当饭吃。Wow. That's true, but I don't want myself to feel awful and not looking forward to work. I know nobody will look forward to going to work, but it'll be even more awful if it's something you dislike.
To be honest, on Thursday, I was already going to accept it, because the benefits are super attractive. But I felt super uncomfortable thinking about the job. When I met ahmeng for dinner on Friday and she asked me about it, all of a sudden, I just broke down and cried real badly. LOL imagine a freaking girl crying in the middle of the hawker centre. It was so embarrassing but I couldn't control myself. It's just not something I want and I felt so stressed because nobody in the family understands me and are forcing me to do something I did not want. People were like, why did you even applied for it in the first place?? Because my mum was pestering me everyday and she kept contacting my cousin and I felt pressured to apply for it. How stupid of me. So a word of advice to all my family desperate friends who are hunting for jobs - don't apply for simply anything out of desperation. You don't want to be stuck in the same situation as me.
Of course, I was super tempted to just accept the job because I was so sick of this whole job hunt process, with no replies from firms, and the envy from watching friends getting their dream jobs, and having high salaries. Yet whenever I think of the job scope, I really wanted to puke and run away. This was a warning sign that I should think through carefully before accepting. Friends told me that I should do things at my own pace, and yet, there's this sense of insecurity burning.
So yeah after days of contemplation and consulting loads of people for advice, I decided to reject the job, and restart on my whole job hunt process, and trust me, it's not easy. It's demoralising, but I guess, it will really be worth it if you get something you like. My friend told me - don't settle for less in desperation, and find something that resonates. I really liked it.
Alright here's a short update but pretty sure most of you here already know what had happened since I have already told you all about it. But this post here is a reminder for myself.
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