Say you'll remember me.

"Mom was standing in the door of the gazebo watching us. She was beaming from ear to ear. She knew. Something ingrained that told her she was seeing true love. Her heart remembering even though her brain had forgotten. She didn't know who I was or who he was. But she still knew what love was. 

Maybe that's the last thing we forget. Or we never forget it at all. Not really. We lose the words to say it. We lose the ability to show it. But we never lose the ability to feel it or recognise it when we see it.

Love is the brightest colour in a gray world."

- Abby Jimenez, Say You'll Remember Me

#dreamlog 3 - missing you once again.

I don't remember much about this dream I had a few days ago. All I remember was that I dreamt of my aunt once again. I was hugging her so tightly in my dream. She felt real. So real. I was crying in my dream, and I woke up with tears streaming down my face. It was 5am. 

Thank you for appearing in my dreams. I miss you always. 

#dreamlog 4 - seeing the aurora once again.

The other day I was telling mum that I couldn't believe we actually went to Finland and how amazing that trip was. We did so many activities that I never thought I would have ever done - chasing the northern lights, floating on a lake in sub-zero temperature, riding an ATV/snow mobile etc. 

Just on Sunday I was taking an afternoon nap, and I dreamt that we actually saw the aurora in Singapore, in freaking summer. I remember the colours we saw - pink, yellow and green. They were so beautiful and visible to the naked eye as well. 

I miss Finland. 

#dreamlog 2 - a laughable confession.

The other night at Yvette's house, we had a few glasses of wine and played a couple of rounds of jenga and king's cup. One of the challenges was to name Singaporean Boys' names, and Elvin came up. The next day, I was also added into a group chat by my friend, providing me a list of songs to sing at her wedding (I am helping out by singing at the church). These 2 events set the plot for my dream 2 nights later. 

In my dream, I was asked to be a bridesmaid for my friend, SX. Coincidentally, Elvin Ng (mediacorp actor) was one of the groomsman. In the dream, there was this scene where the bridesmaids and groomsmen were introduced to one another, and we started playing icebreaker games. All of a sudden during one of the games, Elvin Ng wanted to confess to me. I kept saying "NOOOO CANNOT. ROMEO ZEN ME BAN??!!" (if you know, you know HAHHAHAHA)

I didn't end up with him in the dream coz I wasn't even interested in him. However, he did hold my hands during one of the icebreaker games. 

I woke up laughing HAHAHAH. Like the moment I opened my eyes my mouth was twitching from laughter. I didn't laugh out, but it was hilarious af. In my semi-consciousness between dream and reality, all I could think of was "OMFG ELVIN IS BI. I NEED TO TELL YVETTE." 

Freaking funny please. 

For legal reasons, this is all a joke. 

let's go home.

The other day I dreamt of my late aunt. 

I don't usually remember my dreams, so it felt like it had been a long while since she had appeared in my dreams. 

In the dream, I was on the MRT with my other aunts. When we were approaching Jurong East MRT station to change to the red line to head to their house in Yew Tee, I turned around, and my late aunt was there, sitting in the middle of the row of seats. Just like in every other dream, she does not speak. She simply sat there and smiled at me. I wonder why in all my dreams where my late family members appear, they do not ever speak. Anyway, she sat there smiling at me. I gasped and exclaimed and dashed towards her, and asked if she is going home with us. She gave a small nod and smiled. 

I was so happy I hugged her.

It was a beautiful dream.

Still missing you every now and then, my beloved leng yiyi. 

Finding things to look forward to in life.

Wow it's been exactly 5 months since my last post. Life has been... tiring. 

2024 was eventful for me, albeit some depressing moments at work. I travelled to 5 different countries in 2024 -- Hong Kong, Thailand, Vietnam, Korea and Finland (where we also flew to Norway and took a cruise to Estonia).

I also went to so many concerts: Taylor Swift, ITZY, Stray Kids, Super Junior, G-idle, LANY, 2NE1.

Perhaps because I was so down at work that I spent my money on entertainment so heal my soul. I made sure to have something to look forward to.

But... 2025 has slowed down a lot for me.

I entered the year with nothing to look forward to. No travel plans, no concert plans. 

Work has also utterly drained me. I am now back in my old team, but my new assignment has been real tough. I didn't ask for a promotion but surprisingly a promotion was given to me. Not complaining, but I just felt like it was not the right time, because I had just returned to my team for 2 months and the boss decided to promote me. I felt like I didn't get to prove myself to show that I was deserving of this promotion. I also felt like I hadn't really gotten used to the things in the old team. 

My new assignment is very challenging. I am too exhausted to delve deeper into it but basically, this whole journey made me doubt myself a lot at work and I am now reduced to someone who is very unconfident, and that sucks, because I used to be so good at my job and now I just don't feel proud and confident of myself anymore. Each day I come home from work feeling tired and worst of all, little. 

I will write more about this when I am feeling better. Soon, I hope. 

That being said, I just want to update that I have gotten myself a Kobo. The Kindle experience was getting a little too meh, after they tried to take away our ownership of the books that we have paid for, which is pretty darn ridiculous.

Till the next post, when I am in better spirits. 

brain fart 777.

Taking a commercial break from work this lunch to drop in to say that I had a brain fart moment at work yesterday. 

Due to the nature of my work involving a lot of keying in of numbers, I had all along be using an external wireless number keypad. As we were having a full day of meetings with external parties in one of our meeting rooms yesterday, I had brought down my keypad in case I had key in some figures. I had brought a tote to dump my bottle, my keypad, my bank tokens, snacks to get through the day etc. and headed to the meeting room.

Halfway through the meeting, I realised my keyboard kept typing 777777777 on its own. REPEATEDLY. It would continuously type 7, and stop typing, and then type 7 again. 

This was the image screenshot that I had snipped to show my colleagues and IT. 

During the meeting, I even googled "why does my laptop keep typing 777777 on its own" and there are even threads on microsoft helpdesk with people asking the same questions, so I thought it was a real issue or something wrong with my motherboard ok. 

My IT even told me that it could be dust trapped below the keyboard and he helped me to deep cleanse my laptop because it was so filthy from the dust HAHAHAHAHAH. And then he asked me if I am using an external keypad, then I said oh yes, then I showed him my keypad. Then hs said, plug it out, maybe this keypad has issue too. And he helped me to clean it.

After he said that, A LIGHTBULB APPEARED ABOVE MY HEAD. WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF IT? REMEMBER THAT I HAD BROUGHT A TOTE DOWN FOR THE MEETING? I was actually leaning on the bag the whole time, and it could have been my fat ass that was pressing against the keypad and pressing 7 repeatedly. FML.

True enough, after I realised this and repositioned my keypad, the number 7 stopped appearing...

What a brain fart moment. 

I was too embarrassed to confess my mistake to my IT and my colleagues and all I can do is blame it on a glitch on my laptop.

This shall be my dirty little secret between me and you, reader(s).