#dreamlog 5 - pass it to me from below the cubicle.

Most of my dreams are random, but this dream stems from something that had happened in reality a few days prior to the dream.

Context: We were in office for our training sessions and during our break time, we went to the ladies and Yvette suddenly exclaimed, "Oh shit." When a girl is in the washroom and screams "oh shit", most of the time, it can only mean one thing — her period is here. 

I immediately ran back to our meeting room, and grabbed spare pads from Petra. Back in the toilet, Yvette just said, "PASS IT TO ME FROM BELOW." So I did. I remember it was so funny because we were laughing at how here fingers were looking from below the cubicle.

Back to my dream:

Somehow, this dream took place in a school setting. In the dream, Yvette and I were having stomachache and we went to shit in the toilet, in side by side cubicles. All of a sudden, my boss dashed into the toilet. He started screaming that we were going to be late for a performance. Then he kept asking us to come out to practise. However, our shit was so smelly that we refused to acknowledge that it was the two of us in the cubicles, and we refused to go out. He couldn't take it any longer and just started passing us the music scores from below the cubicles. Before I had the chance to see what piece we were actually performing, I woke up.

What a random dream.

discontent.

"What neither that doctor nor the therapist understood was that the stress was caused not by what I did at my job but, as I'd tried to explain to him, by having to go to work. Spending eight hours form Monday to Friday on alienating and unsatisfying tasks, surrounded by people with whom I was forced to have futile and boring conversations full of absurd platitudes about mortgages or parking spaces or the words their children said wrong or the last series they'd watched on Netflix. All that time I was giving to others instead of staying at home reading or drawing or simply looking at the ceiling, half naked, observing the cracks. I couldn't stand the idea of being forced to live that office pantomime in perpetuity just to pay for things like rent or food or a book or a weekend at the beach. I broke down every morning when the alarm beeped because life, lived this way, seemed like a badly written tragedy, boring and sterile, devoid of fun and, even worse, devoid of content, and so, on my way to work, I felt like grabbing strangers by the shoulders and asking them why they weren't feeling like me. What was their secret, how did they manage to maintain their composure, why didn't they cry every time their alarms beeped?"

- Beatriz Serrano, Discontent

you are a lotus flower.

"Lotus flowers take time to reach full bloom.
    About 100 days --   
    Fifty to get 90% of the way there,
    and another fifty for the remaining 10%.

    When the end doesn't seem in sight.
    When you've worked hard for so long, but see no change.

    Remember the lotus flower.

    Though, on the outside, you might not appear to be moving,
    you are a lotus flower, struggling on until that last 10% blooms.
    You are a lotus flower, still blooming, even if it's happening beneath the surface."

- Dancing Snail, I'm not lazy, I'm on energy saving mode

in a world of 2fas.

locked myself out of my wordpress --> tried to reset password --> had to verify password on hotmail --> locked myself out of my hotmail. 

I'm devastated.

Say you'll remember me.

"Mom was standing in the door of the gazebo watching us. She was beaming from ear to ear. She knew. Something ingrained that told her she was seeing true love. Her heart remembering even though her brain had forgotten. She didn't know who I was or who he was. But she still knew what love was. 

Maybe that's the last thing we forget. Or we never forget it at all. Not really. We lose the words to say it. We lose the ability to show it. But we never lose the ability to feel it or recognise it when we see it.

Love is the brightest colour in a gray world."

- Abby Jimenez, Say You'll Remember Me

#dreamlog 3 - missing you once again.

I don't remember much about this dream I had a few days ago. All I remember was that I dreamt of my aunt once again. I was hugging her so tightly in my dream. She felt real. So real. I was crying in my dream, and I woke up with tears streaming down my face. It was 5am. 

Thank you for appearing in my dreams. I miss you always. 

#dreamlog 4 - seeing the aurora once again.

The other day I was telling mum that I couldn't believe we actually went to Finland and how amazing that trip was. We did so many activities that I never thought I would have ever done - chasing the northern lights, floating on a lake in sub-zero temperature, riding an ATV/snow mobile etc. 

Just on Sunday I was taking an afternoon nap, and I dreamt that we actually saw the aurora in Singapore, in freaking summer. I remember the colours we saw - pink, yellow and green. They were so beautiful and visible to the naked eye as well. 

I miss Finland.